Hello there, my name is Stanley T Monkey and this is my website. I thought I would tell you a little about myself, so strap yourself in for a fast-paced, exciting, thrill ride as you hear how I went from unknown monkey in the zoo to a global super-star.
I was born in a zoo in Essex in England, I had a very happy childhood (should that be infanthood – because a baby monkey is called an infant – that’s a fun monkey fact for you). The zoo was a great place to live, my mum and dad loved me very much and taught me all the essential monkey based skills – swinging on ropes, eating bananas, grooming, eating bananas, rolling in the mud and eating bananas. Yes we had a LOT of bananas.
Whilst I was happy, I felt different to the other monkeys and wanted to go and explore the world and have some adventures. After much nagging, crying and a little bit of sulking I managed to get my parents and the zoo keeper to agree and the zoo found a lovely couple of “humans” to adopt me and look after me in the big world away from the zoo.
SO the big day came and I said good bye to my parents, brothers and sisters and my other monkey chums and left the zoo for the very first time.
I was to live in a city called Chelmsford in Essex which was just outside London. It is a very nice place to live and I have my own room in a nice big house, my new “parents” are very nice too although I do object when they refer to themselves as my “owners”.
That was all five years ago – since then I have had many fun adventures, have been all over the world and seen so many amazing things.
Two years ago my adopted parents bought a new monkey into the house. She was a little girl monkey called Sally – it was love at first sight. She is now my girlfriend I keep getting asked if we are married and I say what a silly question Monkeys don’t get married. This monkey has mated for life though. Sally is GREAT!!!!.
My best friend is called Bob – he lives in the zoo but we speak everyday on the phone. I always ask Bob when I need any help with anything because he is (according to him) very wise – I’m not so sure because his advice normally consists of a very bad joke.
I have discovered chocolate which is now my most favourite thing in the whole world (yes, even above bananas).
My favourite things are :-
- Kylie Minogue
- Football (that’s Soccer for my American fans/readers)
My least favourite things are :-
- Getting wet
- Bath time
- Bob’s Jokes
- No Chocolate
In January 2015 my adopted parents sat we down and said that as I was going to be 7 years old in May I needed to start earning some money to pay for all the chocolate and bananas I ate. I protested that I was too young to be working at 7 but they insisted that 7 in monkey years was the equivalent of 21 in human years (another monkey “fact” for you).
So I sat down and applied for all the jobs I thought I would be good at. The results weren’t great – the local chocolate factory apparently don’t need any more tasters. Monkeys are “not allowed” to play football and I was “too small” to be a roadie for Kylie Minogue.
I spoke to Bob for some ideas and help and he said I should create a website and become a billionaire. For once it was some good advice from Bob, although I’m not sure about the billionaire thing though.
So that’s what I did, I created this website
I am also very busy writing the first part of my autobiography which I hope will be published soon.
I have a great idea for a new app to rival Angry Birds and Candy Crush – this is being developed and will be released soon.
So I call on all my monkey fans, friends and everyone else to help me on my road to being the first billionaire monkey. One day I want to be on the front of Time magazine, as the most famous money in the whole world.
How can you help ? well if you buy any monkey based product I recommend on this website then I earn a small commission so be sure to buy everything
When my book and app are released you have to buy them as well
Thanks for reading
Stanley T Monkey